Crazy nighT – Teh Random Play
by Sal The Happs Dude T3T
Summary: A play for the popular Crazy nighT poorly done by the genderswaps! Original English dub by teh awesome Chaz! Stupidity happens in every one of my fanfictions. If you don't like stupidity, don't read this. Rated T for randomness. If only the characters didn't have a limit of only four characters, I would put everyone.


**Sal: This story was inspired by the story, named The mystery of Bad End Night, written by an awesome writer who calls himself 'A crazy moron'. Except that this story is really different. He even intended to put 'a' at the beginning of his pen name. PURE GENIUS! (Imagine someone saying this like a mad scientist.) Not doing the 'Scene 1–*whatever friggin' place it is*' stuff again. And yes, it includes backstage kind of thing. However you peeps put it. And it has teh**

**GB!**

**Yes, teh–**

**GB!**

**Yes, teh–**

**GENDER-BENDS!**

**Or–**

**GENDERSWAPS!**

**If you would like to call them that.**

**Wow, this is kind of random. ON TO TEH SHOW!**

* * *

_**In the changing room (Guys')...**_

"Hey, Rinto."

"Yup, Mikuo?"

"Is it just me, or are we putting on skirts?"

When Rinto didn't reply, Meito answered (and untruthfully and sarcastically, at that), "It's just yo–"

"No, silly Meito!" Gumo interjected, hastily putting on his maid dress. "These are clearly clothes for females, Silly Meito!"

"Now, would you stop calling me that."

"Not only until you say 'please', silly Mei-to!" Mikuo smirked.

"Yeah!" Rinto agreed. "What bad mannerisms you have, silly Meito!"

Meito seriously hated the way the were speaking to him at that moment. Oh yeah, they were doing it just to annoy him. And how extremely successful they were.

"Uh, you do know the show is going to start in ten minutes, don't you?" Luki cut in, trying to stop the argument.

The room was silent for a while, with everyone in it looking at Luki with somewhat wide eyes. Then, somehow, in unison, everyone, with the exception of Luki, asked him,

"It is?"

Luki couldn't help but sigh. "... Yes, it is."

Meito just sighed when the leek-loving, orange-loving and carrot-loving boys started to desperately put on their costumes. "See, that's why I told you to hurry up."

"You did?" Gumo inquired. "When?"

Meito just rolled his eyes. "Before this story even started."

(Random Useless Flashback)

"Hurry up."

(End of Random Useless Flashback)

"Hey Meito! You just broke the fourth wall!" Mikuo gasped dramatically. "And in an unimaginably stupid manner, I must say!"

"Just shut up and wear the freaking dress already." Why did they like to annoy Meito so much?

"Hey, our clothes are more complicated than yours, Meito! It's just a kimono and some extra random skirt!" Rinto argued.

"I disagree," Meito said.

"5 more minutes," Luki said flatly, hoping that that would stop their needless arguments.

Less than minute later, everyone had finished wearing their costumes properly.

"Why are we doing this when the real cast are supposed to be doing this, Meito?" Rinto asked.

"They're... supposedly busy."

"Uh, doesn't this mean that the females are a lot taller than usual while the guys are shorter than usual?" Mikuo asked.

"Stop asking me so many questions."

"Then stop answering our questions," Gumo said.

"If I didn't, you would keep on pestering m–"

"3 more minutes."

"Fine, Luki, we'll shut up," Meito said grumpily.

"Why so glum, chum?" Mikuo asked in the most annoying voice Meito had ever heard him use. And Mikuo wasn't the least concerned-sounding.

"Just. Shut. Up."

_**Meanwhile, in the changing room (obivously the other genders')...**_

They put on their clothes quickly and had more than 20 minutes to spare. The room was quiet for a while.

Kaiko, desperately wanting to break the silence, asked, "So... what do you think of the costumes, Gakuk–"

"Gakuto," Gakuko interjected in a voice that sounded more like Gakupo's with a very slight feminine touch. Still guy-ish-sounding, anyway.

Kaiko, wondering for the millionth time why the cheerful eggplant-loving lady wanted to call herself 'Gakuto' instead of her real name and sounding lower than she was supposed to.

'I want to know how a guy feels, ya know? Sometimes 'cause guys are nice, some ladies *coughSS3cough* take advantage of them. I've tried this before once while talking to a guy. It worked.'

Okay, so that's her reason.

"Uh... Gaku...to... Lenka?"

"... They're okay," Lenka answered.

"Same here," Gakuko replied.

Then there was another period of silence. This time, Gakuko spoke up.

"What do you think of yours, Kaiko?"

"Oh... uh... a bit... furry?"

"Oh, okay."

Silence...

"Hey, normally we get along with each other. Why is it now that we just seem to not be able to speak to one another?" Lenka wondered aloud.

"Probably because the author doesn't know what to type," Gakuko answered, examining an eggplant as she had nothing better to do.

"... You just broke the fourth wall," Kaiko pointed out.

"Why is the 'breaking of fourth walls' so important, anyway?" Lenka asked.

"Because it just seems important," Gakuko answered.

Lenka nodded. "I suppose so."

At least that kept them occupied for the next ten minutes.

1 minute before the show starts...

"Okay, everybody, get to your places!" Miku yelled into the speaker, causing everyone to clutch their ears.

Then it hit them.

"W-W-WAIT! If you're there, why am I wearing your costume?!" Mikuo hollered.

"Because I'm the direc-tor~!"

"DIDN'T I SAY I HATED THOSE STUPID WIGGLY LINES?!" Meito shouted. Unfortunately, no one but Luki and Kaiko bothered to notice. They went to comfort him.

"How come you're the director?!" Rinto yelled.

"Because we are~!" Rin yelled back.

"So start the play before you get your asses kicked by us~!" Gumi said cheerfully.

"We aren't going to ever allow you to kick our butts, you know~!" Mikuo smiled creepily.

"Oh really, now~?" Miku grinned.

"Of course!" Rinto said.

"JUST START THE DAMN THING ALREADY!" Lenka yelled. "WE DON'T NEED A WAR TO BREAK OUT."

Everyone glanced at her with shocked expressions. No, she never shouted that much.

That made everyone obediently get to their places. Miku coughed. Gumi browsed through a magazine which showed different kinds of military weapons. Rin held the speaker to her mouth.

"Okay, let us begin," she said softly.

* * *

**Crazy 8 nighT – Teh Random Play**

**Characters:**  
**~Mikuo as Village Girl~**  
******–**Gakuko/Gakuto as Butler**–**  
**~Gumo as Maid~**  
******–**Kaiko as Master**–**  
~Meito as Mistress~  
**–**Lenka as Doll Boy**–**  
**~Rinto as Doll Girl~  
****–**Luki as Daughter**–**

******Narrator:  
1) Gumi  
2) Rin  
3) Miku**

_After the curtain sways down, there's cheering all around_  
_Let's go on, go on, for another round_  
_The buzzer resounds, a new start is announced_  
_Say "One, two, three" shall we begin now?_

Village Girl: By the way, 'All' means everyone but me. *coughs* The spotlight shines across a certain line, I must take this path tonigh**–** Wait, what? Cool! Is it a UFO flying above us?!

Butler (eating an eggplant): Ehng *munch* unbe*munch*wewable mangsheng *munch*...

Maid: With indescribable reception! We offer you free carrots! It is a chance not to be missed!

Butler: You sound like a walking advertisement.

Maid (holds up a poster costume and puts it over himself): I know, right?!

Master (coughs): Confusion in your eyes!

Mistress: ... Don't you think you're sounding a little too excited?

Master: No.

Village Girl: Hey, Meito, you make the mistress look tall and flat.

Mistress: What, you expect me to bring two melons along with me or something?

Doll Boy: I believe this isn't in the script.

Doll Girl: Do we even have a script?

Doll Boy: Now that you say it... no, actually.

Doll Girl: Does this still count as breaking the fourth wall?

Doll Boy: ... Why are you even asking me?

Mistress: Con. Tin. U. Ing. On. *coughs* Take a look outside**–**

Master & Mistress: Dark has filled the night!

Master: Don't worry! There's ice cream in the fridge!

Mistress: Kaiko...

Doll Boy: Put down your lamp. Wait. What lamp?

Village Girl: UFO.

Doll Boy: ... O... kay...

Doll Girl: Forget your plans!

All: And just enjoy your stay!

Daughter: The climax of the night begins…

All: Come on, don't be late!

Mistress: ... I hate you, Mikuo.

Village Girl: I'm glad you return my ever-lasting hatred for you with yours!

Mistress: ... Tch.

Village Girl: What, you're jealous of Luka 'cause you're so flat?

Mistress: I'm a guy, dammit! Why would I care about a flat chest?!

Master: Shut up.

Butler: Look! All the guys and**–**

Village Girl: All the girls and**–**

Maid: All the others! Gosh, this costume makes it hard to move around. *takes off giant poster costume and leaves it on the ground*

All: Everybody's taken by a stir! Let's go! This crazy night's curtain's out of sight!

Village Girl: Oh really? Where's the curtain? Does this mean even the original song has the actors breaking the fourth wall as well?!

Mistress: Shut up!

All: Even more so, more so, excitement boils high! All you need is following the script we have!

Doll Girl: I thought we didn't have a script?

Doll Boy: Please. Stop. Cutting. In.

All: Don't use your mind, do a crazy foolish laugh!

Maid: HAHAHAHAHAHADSHIGVNDVHDVHHAHADSDSHALKUHDUVHVUKAHUS AFHAHAHHAHDSHAHAKDH!

Daughter: Can you guys please stop interrupting every now and then?

All: Dizzying, one, two, three, intoxicating you and me, make merry, merry, uncontrollably! The world's no fun if everything is bland, we shall live life as crazy as we can!

Doll Girl: What's the definition of 'crazy' in here?

Butler: Ack.

Doll Girl: Oh, thanks.

Butler: Um, that wasn't the defini**– **Ah, whatever. What should we do now?

Maid: Don't know when or how to buy carrots now!

Butler (glares at Maid): Shut up and otherwise say your lines correctly or I'll shove this eggplant down your throat.

Butler & Maid: An emergency's about!

Master: It seems that time itself has…

Mistress: Came to a frozen stop at last.

Doll Boy: Hey, where's the girl?

Doll Girl: Where's Mikuo?

Doll Boy: 'Girl'.

Doll Girl: 'Gurl'.

Daughter: Where did she run off to? (Doll Twins: Gotta see it through!)

Master: But even so,

Mistress: Can't stop the show,

All: Ah, yes, it must go on!

Maid: To murdering Meito!

Mistress: Stop that, dammit!

Doll Twins: "The next page" due in line**–**it doesn't exist at all!

Maid: What a tragic lost! It's like losing a carrot in a car accident!

Butler: Oh no, it's not there! Oh, here it is! *stuffs eggplant into Maid's mouth*

Daughter: Not here!

Maid: Shomewah!

Master & Mistress: Anywhere!

All: It's nowhere to be found!

Village Girl: Gee, that must suck.

Doll Boy: Yes. It must.

All: Hurry and search out the cause that ruined our crazy night! No way it can continue to thrive!

Doll Girl: Hidden**–**

Doll Boy: Destruction?

Daughter: A bug?

Butler: Maybe an eggplant to eat?

All except Butler *stares at Butler*: Gakuko.

Butler: Fine. Sheesh. Maybe a STRIKE.

All: Just who did this and what's their reason why?

Village Girl: Probably 'cuz Meito sucks.

Mistress (sighs): How do Miku and Meiko get along with each other...?

Butler (glares at Mistress): ...

Mistress: What?

Butler: My original. *coughGakupocough*

Mistress: ... Oh. Yeah. They both dislike him.

Butler: Che.

All: Counting down three, two, one, examine it again!

Village Girl: You guys found a leek garden?!

Daughter: No.

All: It's adding, adding, to our frustration! We simply just can't figure it out! Will tonight be a "to be continued" sort?

Doll Girl: Oh, yes, it will!

Doll Boy: ... Needless spoiler.

Maid: That page that was stolen...

Butler: Was it an undesired portion?

Doll Girl: Maybe on the next page...

Doll Boy: It'll show the culprit's face

Mistress: The page of the future...

Master: How did the culprit know it?

Daughter: The only person who can do so…

All: The culprit's you, isn't it?!

Village girl: I fooound it~!

All: Now you have the key to this crazy night!

Village Girl: What key? Does it allow you to go on rainbows and marshmallows?

Mistress: ... And now you've become mentally insane.

All: Higher, higher, excitement ignites! Back then why couldn't you have played by the script, not using your mind, not thinking about it!

Village Girl: Not my fault there wasn't a script.

Daughter: ... It's useless telling you to stop, isn't it?

All: Whatever now, one, two, three, it's written for you and me! Destruction, destruction, leave nothing you see! If you really wish to encounter the true end, be more crazier than you ever can!

Village Girl: Give me my crazy night back to me, won't you please? Pretty please? With leek flakes on top!

All: No way, no way this is what it'll be… We're merely acting, following what the script (Village Girl: What script?) said to, but it's not necessarily the truth... It's over? The curtains of the crazy night now lowers**–**

Village girl: Hold on! Hold on! Don't end it just yet! Dammit! You don't want any leeks?!

All: That's too bad, you ran out of your time!

Butler & Maid: But believe tonight we'll meet again!

Doll Girl: Another?!

Doll Boy: Yes, tonight, let's do it all once more!

Master, Mistress & Daughter: Aha, tonight, can you find it one more time?

All: Till the sea of applause fades, till the very end!

**END**

Narrator 1: Hey, we didn't really say anything, did we?

Narrator 2: I believe we didn't.

Narrator 3: In fact, this is the first time we're talking as narrators in the story.

Narrator 1: But the story has already ended, hasn't it?

Narrator 2: I suppose so. That means these titles we have at the moment are kind of useless.

Narrator 3: Yeah. Let's discard of them.

The trio throw away their so-called 'name cards'.

Miku: Oh look, now some unknown guy's narrating for us.

Rin: That's just annoying.

Gumi: Ooh, he's a guy, right? Let's torture him!

... Sadists.

_**At the genderswaps...**_

"Hey, I felt like my body was being possessed when we were doing the play," Mikuo said. "Is it just me or what?"

"Just you."

"Thanks, Meito, but I wasn't asking you."

"Who the heck are you asking, then? You're facing the general direction of NO ONE and NO ONE is replying.

"I am now," No One said.

"Yeah, oka**– **Wha?! Who on Earth are you?!" Meito yelled.

"Didn't the author type my name like, two lines ago? Yes, I'm just a guy named 'No One'. Bye."

"Is breaking the fourth wall a hobby now?" Meito wondered aloud. NoBODEH answered.

"So, what random thing did I say?" Mikuo asked Rinto and Gumo.

"Um, stuff like UFOs, leek gardens, keys allowing you to go on rainbows and marshmallows and stuff," Rinto answered.

"Now that you say it, I wonder why I was saying things about carrots. I'm not as obsessed with my character item as Gakupo's with his," Gumo said.

"We can all blame it on the author."

Everyone glanced at the person who was saying it.

And that person was...

"YOUR MURDERER! MUAHAHAHAHAHA**– **Just joking," Miku said in a very bored manner.

...

For some reason, everyone ran for their lives. Miku was holding the so very shiny clock hands.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" Miku shrieked. Until she looked at her hands.

"Oh."She shrugged and dumped the things on the ground.

Rin, Gumi and Miku then went out shopping at the military shop that was randomly and conveniently placed around the corner.

The genderswaps decided to never act out a play in place of the originals ever again.

* * *

**Sal: Not as good as I had expected. But then I had to write it as more story ideas come to my head. Then I forget. Since this is cleared, things are slightly easier. Kind of.**

**Note to self, never hold pee while writing this. 'Cause once you finish writing, you rush to the nearest restroom. Who knows if you _just decided _to slip and fall _accidentally. _Good thing I didn't fall.**

**I heard that it's harder for guys to hold pee than females.**

**Wow, this is a really casual subject to talk about.**

**Thanks for reading this not-as-good-as-it-was-supposed-to-be story.**

**3 June 2013 1:03 A.M.**


End file.
